His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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