i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ugly people sure do ruin things
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
