He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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