He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
