I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
