How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
