Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The feeling are messing with the penis
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
