the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
