Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
