The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
