i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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