Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
