apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
