She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize