im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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