what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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