Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
