He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize