so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
