You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
