So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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