the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
