is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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