Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
