Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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