Dual....:-)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
