I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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