redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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