they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
