dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
