my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
