ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
