Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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