make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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