Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
