Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
