I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
