put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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