Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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