oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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