well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize