Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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