Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
