I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
