dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
