maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
