You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
