is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
