good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
