Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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