I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
