Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sext me about skeletons
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
