how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
