you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
