Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
