hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
