dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize