its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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