i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
