I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
how does that bad decision feel?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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